Creating a daily routine to help you cope with grief isn’t about perfection or productivity—it’s about caring for yourself in the midst of loss. For me, grief feels like an unpredictable wave, sweeping in without warning, leaving you feeling lost, overwhelmed, and unanchored.
Amid the whirlwind of emotions, creating a daily routine can offer a lifeline—a sense of stability and purpose to help you navigate each day. Some days, you might stick to your routine with ease; other days, you might only manage one or two steps. That’s okay. Grief is not linear, and neither is healing.
While it won’t take away the pain, a thoughtful routine can provide moments of calm and healing as you journey through grief. Here are some gentle ways to add a little structure to your day as you cope with loss.
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Start Your Morning with Intention
Mornings can set the tone for the rest of your day. Instead of rushing out of bed or diving into the demands of life, carve out a few quiet moments for yourself. You could:
- Gentle mindfulness: Sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths. Notice the rhythm of your breath, note any sounds that you hear, or perform a body scan. Let this ground you in the present moment. For example, in the early morning, I can hear the sound of cars driving, birds chirping, and faint voices of people outside. I just notice them without engaging in any way.
- Small intention: Whisper a simple phrase to yourself, like, “Today, I will be gentle with myself” or “Today, I will focus on the present moment and let go of thoughts of the past or future.” This can serve as a guiding light, especially when the day feels heavy.
Create Space for Movement
Grief often lives in the body as much as in the heart and mind. Moving your body, even in small ways, can help release tension and improve your emotional well-being. Consider:
- Stretching or yoga: Gentle stretches can ease physical tightness and provide a moment of connection with your body. Even when I did not feel like it, I was glad I did it after I was finished. Yoga has such a calming effect on me, even for just 10–20 minutes.
- Short walk: Step outside, even if it’s just to the end of your street. Feel the fresh air on your skin and notice the sights and sounds around you. Nature has a quiet but powerful way of soothing grief. Sometimes on my walks, I would speak to my loved ones who have passed away, telling them they could use my eyes to see the beauty of nature around me. It might seem silly to some, but it brought me comfort.
Nourish Your Body
Grief can disrupt your appetite, making it easy to skip meals or reach for convenience foods. Aim to nourish your body with kindness. Simple, comforting meals can go a long way in supporting your energy and mood. Right after my mom passed, I immediately lost weight but felt weak, which was not good for anyone.
- Choose comfort: Prepare something warm, like oatmeal topped with fruit or a bowl of hearty soup.
- Lean on support: If cooking feels overwhelming, allow yourself to lean on friends who have offered help. Many people say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” but they often feel helpless because they don’t know how to help. Allow them to nourish you.
Dedicate Time for Reflection
Grief can leave your mind swirling with emotions, memories, and questions. Setting aside time to reflect can help you process these thoughts.
- Journal your feelings: Writing down your thoughts can feel like releasing them from your heart. Don’t worry about structure or grammar; let your words flow freely. I journaled for 20 minutes every morning, and it became something I looked forward to, offering comfort.
- Engage with a creative outlet: If words don’t come easily, consider drawing, painting, or even creating a scrapbook to honor your loved one. Try this daily for 20 minutes instead of journaling. Any form of creative expression can be a beautiful release. Remember, this is your unique grief journey.
Include Moments of Joy or Comfort
It might feel impossible to find joy amid grief, but small moments of comfort can make a difference. Think of activities that bring a flicker of light into your day:
- Listen to soothing music or a favorite podcast.
- Spend time with a pet or a comforting companion.
- Light a candle and have a moment of silence and remembrance.
- Read a book that feels like a warm hug.
End Your Day with Gratitude
As the day winds down, reflect on what brought you even a sliver of peace or comfort. Write down or think about one or two things you’re grateful for, no matter how small. Gratitude can be a gentle nudge, helping to shift your focus from loss to love.
Summary: A Daily Routine to Help Cope with Grief
Remember, your routine is yours to shape. It’s a flexible structure to support you, not a rigid plan to follow. As you experiment with what feels right, you’ll find what nurtures your heart and helps you move forward, one day at a time.
If you’re navigating grief, know that you’re not alone. Each small step you take is a testament to your strength and resilience. Give yourself grace and keep going—you’re doing the best you can.
